I'm so Vain

Confession. Sometimes I'm vain, shocker, right? Recently Lucy broke my glasses and I ran out of contacts and my prescription expired over a year ago. Being more concerned about my appearance than I should be, I asked the "Doctor" at my eye exam if I could get a prescription for Latisse as I am loving the results it had on my sister's eyelashes. The "Doctor" told me how she, "Wasn't sure if I can write you a prescriptions as the laws are not clear". Huh? How do you not know that!? That's your job. She told me to see an Opthamalogist not an Optomitrist and gave me a history lesson on Latisse. Uh, how about you try to write me a prescription and I'll let you know if I can't fill it. That's how the medical world works in Cindy's mind.

But the docs largest transgression . . . she kept calling my eyes BLUE! She warned me that if Latisse is used INCORRECTLY it could actually darken my iris and change it from pretty BLUE to a brown or darker green. UH my eyes ARE GREEN AND BROWN.

How do you NOT know that my eyes are green? You stared at them for 10 minutes and your face was like 2 inches from mine. THAT'S your job! Maybe she didn't pass the color blindness test that she administers daily. Photo of my green eyes to come.

Battered Mothers Shelter

Dear Adult Protective Services (APS),

I know your agency's purpose is to protect adults from abuse, neglect, and exploitation.  I'm in need of your services.  My daughter is abusing me. I know that she's only 1.5 years old, 2 ft tall, and weighs 25 lbs, but the amount of damage she can do is incredible.  In the past week I've noted 17 bruises, 10+ scratch marks on my face, neck, and arms, a bruised cheek from a baby bottle hurled at my head, and another bruised cheek from being kicked in the face while attempting to put her on my shoulders to get her to leave the store.

If this isn't enough proof that I'm being abused then I'd like to make a case for financial exploitation.  I mean when there is a tiny blonde girl with pig tails who smiles and giggles at you, has the most kissable cheeks, and is irresistibly adorable then our wallets are bound to open and stretch. She's not even to the age where she likes expensive toys ie. cars, phones, etc.

Every once in awhile Moms need a break from their babies. I'm sure I'm not the only mother who would benefit from some respite care so I propose that in order to help me and mothers throughout the states we create a Battered Mothers Shelter.  Trust me, the tax dollars would be spent well and no mother would go without.  There will be spas, massages, facials, saunas, manicures, pedicures, fantastic food, plush robes, and everything wonderful and relaxing at the Battered Mothers Shelter.  When there is no Social Security money left for my retirement I'll just check myself into the Battered Mothers Shelter and die a happy woman.

APS please consider my proposal.

One Beat Down Mother,

Cindy

The Fire Department Rescued Me From an Elevator

Remember that awkward moment when I told my family I was pregnant.  Well this experience is probably second only to that in the level of that uncomfortable awkwardness I felt.  My sister Emily came to visit me for 4 days this week and we had a blast!  We saw and did more in 3 days than what I've done with most people in 7.  On the last day we decided to do a little bit of shopping and then go relax at the beach in Santa Monica.

Here are the facts:
1.  Emily, Lucy, and I were in the elevator with 2 Nordstrom employees going from the 2nd to the 3rd floor.
2. The power went out and the elevator dropped and got stuck between the 2nd and 1st floor.
3.After pushing the "Help" button the elevator company was aware of our situation and told us a technician would be arriving in 20 minutes.
4. About 8 minutes after I pushed the "Help" button the fire department showed up to help rescue us.  (I know this because we yelled to each other through the elevator doors).

My thoughts:

• Hallelujah I just went to the bathroom.
• Please Lucy, do not poop.
• I'm hungry.
• I'm so HOT.
• I'm glad I didn't wear a skirt because in movies the doors and floors are never lined up and I don't want to be shimming out of here while people may have a view up my skirt. 
• Isn't there a way to escape from the ceiling? There always is in the movies.  
• Movies LIE!!!  When the fire department/ elevator technician asked us 4 women on multiple occasions to try to open the elevator doors WE COULDN'T. Its IMPOSSIBLE!!!  In movies it looks so easy.  And where's the hidden crowbar to allow me to open the doors?  If we had to open those doors to save our lives then we all would have died.

One of my elevator mates Crazy Kathy kind of had a mental break down.  About every 5-10 minutes (of the 90 minutes we were in there) she would yell to the staff working on getting us out of the elevator, "Where are we at?" or "Can we get an update?"  After an hour 15 minutes of this I had a hard time not laughing at Crazy Kathy.  I really don't know what kind of answer she expected seeing as how I am certain Kathy knows nothing about how elevators work let alone what it would mean to her if she knew what parts weren't working and why.  Guess what Kathy, next time you ask for an update they are going to say the same thing... you're still stuck!!! We'll let you know when we are close to getting you out.  The elevator door must open before you can get out and we're not even trying to open the elevator doors - we are trying to get the elevator moved to a floor where you can crawl out.  

While we waited "patiently," Lucy stopped making noise, her face turned red, and I could tell she was choking.  I saw her playing in my bag before and I knew she must have found a dried apricot that had not been cut up yet.  I quickly gave her some whacks and cleared the obstruction although I did freak out a little.  

Jasmine  (another Nordsrom employee) was starving and asked if they could stuff some Slim Jims through the door.  I mentioned I had some dried apricots which I'm sure lost there appeal after she saw one come up from Lucy.

Emily would kill me for posting this picture but I'm pretty sure she doesn't read my blog so I'm safe ;).

Finally they notified us that we would be out soon but that we were going to have to climb out on a ladder to easily get out of the elevator and onto the 3rd floor as they did not line up evenly.  After the longest 90 minutes the elevator doors are pried open, a fireman jumps in, and 20+ people are standing around CHEERING and CLAPPING.  The firemen asked Mom (me) to come first and wanted me to hand Lucy to him.  Lucy was having a mental break down as 7 firemen dressed in bright yellow and covered in soot were wanting to help her out.  I decided to pass Lucy off to Emily instead.  I've never felt so ridiculous climbing a ladder while people cheered and watched.

I though the attention might die down once we got out but it didn't.  We became Nordstrom celebrities.  Nordstrom employees brought us water bottles, Goldfish, a balloon, and a stuffed animal.  The parade of personnel didn't stop.

You'll never guess who came up after me & Lucy.... of course, Crazy Kathy.

The day after Nordstrom headquarters called to see how I was doing.  What I didn't tell them was that giving me the pair of shoes I was buying for Lucy for free would have been a nice gesture ;).  If I ever get stuck in an elevator again I wouldn't mind if it were in Nordstrom's but I would also appreciate some privacy post-disembarking.  

Christmas 2011

This year we stayed in California for Christmas and since we have no family around it was just the 3 of us making it a small, simple, and relaxing day.  The whole month of December, Lucy would crawl under the Christmas tree and bring me 3+ packages from the advent calendar her Nana gave her.  She faithfully remembered that she should be getting a piece of candy each day or maybe she was just excited to read another scripture about Jesus ;).

We enjoyed our church's Christmas program.

On Christmas Eve we had pizza (it's tradition) and took pictures of Lucy in her formal wear by the tree. It started out pleasant enough.

 But she got distracted

 then angry

 then excited

 until she pulled out her hair and said I quit and her parents complied. 

Opened presents: Check

 Santa brought Lucy a baby which she immediately kissed

 and then fed

until she realized she was thirsty.

Then she opened the stroller and enjoyed pushing her baby around the house.

She also enjoyed some of her other presents including her cars, puzzle, books, and treats.

Scared of presents: Check
Lucy got a Hexbug and loved it until.... well... until she didn't.

 And then she decided that she was not chasing the bug but the bug was chasing her so she crawled away and FAST every time I turned it on.

Both of our wonderful parents got us a washer and dryer in June for Christmas which has been OH SO NICE.  I hate hauling laundry around so it was such a relief.  I was also thankful and excited to get some surprises from both of them.  I loved my sweater (thanks Chris) and Casey rocked his Ninja Turtles pjs.  Thank you parents!  I have yet to watch 17 Miracles which my parents sent as well, can't wait!

After presents, we video chatted with family which was oh so fun!  I loved seeing how excited everyone was about Christmas.  Even though we didn't have any holiday parties or tons of treats around the house I ate enough chocolate trifle to ensure I put on the appropriate amount of holiday weight ;).  Hope you all had a Merry Christmas as well. 

Santa's Lap

It happened.  I debated about whether or not I would take Lucy to sit on Santa's lap because I wasn't about to spend $20 for a picture of her crying on Santa's lap at the mall.  Lucy missed the church party where Santa came because she needed her beauty sleep.  I texted my only sorta friend (we've only seen each other 3 times in 6 months and 2 times it was an accident) and asked her if she knew of any free and informal Santa appearances where I could snap a photo of Lucy on Santa's lap.  My sorta friend knew about Santa's appearance at the Altadena city library so we went.

When Santa walked in I prompted Lucy to say, "Hi Santa" and I was shocked when I heard her say, "Hi Saaa".  He read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas and Lucy was all smiles... that is until we went to take a picture on his lap.

She was scared but I HAD to capture Lucy's first time on Santa's lap even if it frightened her.

Merry Christmas!

I'm Obsessed

I have a new love.

Of course it has to do with Lucy.

It's these....

I love her hair in PIGTAILS

TWINTAILS

Whatever you want to call them,

I can't get enough of them!!!

It's just how a little girls hair should be. :D

Although I do remember a time when I thought they were hideous.

State of Emergency & the Attorney

Casey and I both did not sleep well last night.  From the news we heard that the Santa Ana winds would be in full force down here for a few days but I was not expecting a restless nights sleep as sirens from fire trucks, ambulance, and police cars kept us up. 

When I woke up I was nervous to go outside as I heard the cracking of trees and destruction all night.  I turned on the news and heard that the Mayor of Pasadena declared the city in a state of emergency and that all of the school districts were closed.  Many of the cities are out of power. You can view a slideshow of some of the destruction here.

We went outside to check out the status of our neighborhood 

Yes, Lucy has bed head and I even think her bed head is adorable.

That's part of someone's gutter. 

I've never lived in hurricane/tornado country but I can now imagine what it's like.  I think every 3rd tree was knocked down some taking the concrete with it.  Roads closed, trees and shrubbery blocking lanes, lamp posts gone, cars smashed, store fronts ruined, the destruction is incredible.  Hopefully Pasadena will be ready for the Rose Parade.  I especially hope the winds these next few days will not inflict any more damage.

After observing our neighborhood Casey and I got ready to walk two blocks to the Pasadena Convention Center so that Casey could be sworn in as an attorney in California after passing the bar!!!  I was very excited and couldn't be more proud :D  Of course I charged the battery for the camera and the video camera and when I got the camera out to take a photo it said something about a battery so the only photos I got were on my cell phone.  The oath lasted only a few seconds so I didn't have too much time to take a picture.

Being sworn in.  Isn't he handsome?

First picture as an attorney

Federal Court that swore him in.

The happy family minus the fantastic photographer and proud wife.

Our chapter of Law School is OFFICIALLY closed!  Congrats!!!!!

You Came Here for What?

I recently took a look at the keywords people type into Google that leads them to my page.  I was shocked and started laughing hysterically to see what brought people to my page.

What People Searched - My thoughts on the subject

• Cindy Playboy bunnies 2011 (i love playboy logo but i'm not playboy, Playboy +cindy + utah + nude women + 20 variations of the same thing) - 50+ people came to my blog looking for info/pictures of Playboy Bunnies.  THERE ARE NO NUDY PHOTOS ON HERE!!!! THERE WILL NEVER BE NUDE PHOTOS!  I am not and have not EVER been in Playboy.  In fact, this is what I think of the Playboy logo. 
• Madonna's arms -  You don't want to see them.  They are disgusting. See
• bit lip vs herpes sore (did i get herpes or just a bite, herpes) -   I love bacon and burned my lip but I've never had herpes!!!  If you're asking.... it's probably herpes.
• woman hanging by hair - The circus rocks!  It truly was the BEST SHOW ON EARTH!  The lady hanging by her hair was a highlight but the motorcycles, the animals, and the contortionists made it even more A-MAZing!
• image of labor - You don't want to see that.  And if you REALLY do you WON"T FIND IT HERE! And I won't direct you to somewhere you can find it. 
• quill and sword BYU - It's just funny.  I can't explain it.  You either get it or you don't.
• my surrogacy story 40 weeks - NO amount of money could convince me to be a surrogate.  Although if someone wants to be a surrogate for cheap I MIGHT hire you but I may question your mental health.
• i'm going to have bunionectomy -  I did.  My foot feels great.  Don't think, just do it. 
• national geographic how babies are made - Uh my version of this came from a patient who is mentally challenged... if you want factual details I'm sure wikipedia could explain this. 
• "cynthia - winnner! winner! chicken dinner! - I won a blog giveaway and my name is Cindy NOT Cynthia NOR Cinderella!!!
• can i get herpes on my lip (can i get one herpe, disgusted mouth herpe) - YES! YES! YES!  Go to Planned Parenthood and get free STD testing, I think.
• back to school at BYU - sometimes I miss it, sigh. 
• bee sting force - I don't know how to measure this.... potential science project one day. I apologize in advance that I don't have a cool bee story.  I will say bumble bees are huge and I tried to kill one by myself while massively pregnant.  My advice, try Raid. 
• binding postpartum diaper - I comprehend the idea of postpartum binding and I comprehend that people may wear a postpartum diaper but "binding postpartum diaper" escapes me.
• can you be hospitalized for constipation - My friend who is a brilliant Dr. told me a story about a woman who did die from being TREATED in a hospital for constipation.  The constipation did not kill her but stimulating the body to "release" did.  Please don't make me explain it.  It only reinforced the idea that my fear of constipation is NOT irrational!!!
• how do i know if i have herpes on my mouth - OK, ok I get it.  Lot's of people are coming to my blog to learn about herpes.  I only mentioned herpes on this blog because I was sitting next to a GROSS co-worker who I swear had herpes on her lips and while she kept whispering in my ear I was worried I may catch her herpes cause it's highly contagious.  I only know what herpes look like because I knew someone in high school who had them on their mouth.  Try Planned Parenthood.
• it must be tuesday + nude women - I have no words.
• my friends took my bra when i was sleeping in school - This never happened to me and I don't know how Googling this brought you to my blog. 
• people sleeping in library - Guilty! Ok, this story isn't completely true but something like it happened. 
• pregnancy mind tricks - They totally work! Read about it here.
• should i name my baby cindy - YES! YES! YES! It's such a happy name.  I love it.
• shredding queen - That's my name and I earned it. 
• tattoo cindy on the cruise april 2011 - I don't have a tattoo and I've never been on a cruise.  Let's make a deal: you pay for a cruise and I will get a tattoo.
• too pale intervention - It happened to you too?  It's depressing, huh?
• meaning of phrases "haven't seen you in awhile" (variations of other English phrases) - I don't speak nor write English well.  I would be a horrible teacher!  I can speak it most of the time.  I know that this phrase means that an amount of time has passed since you last saw that person. 
• true backsliding stories - Some of these stories are too embarrassing to share.  But some have made it out of the vault. 
• boys in whitey tighties - Wrong BLOG!!!!  NEVER COME BACK HERE AGAIN!!!!!
• caseys feet - It's not a disease and I hope it's not contagious.  I just happen to trip over Casey's feet constantly.  I blame my mother's genetic pool.

What does this all say about me?  More importantly what does this say about you!?  Which one of these terms brings you to my blog ;)

Halloween

I debated about whether or not I was going to dress Lucy up for Halloween this year as she is still so young and people realize that all of the candy she gets is more for the parents than for her.  My sister Wendy finally convinced me that I had to do it and the city of Pasadena had a trick-or-treat downtown that I decided to go to. Remember I have no friends aka no one to go with/go to for trick-or-treating.  The day before Halloween I ran to Partyland and picked up a costume.

The next day I took Lucy to the mall where she got her face painted with a flower and we went on a scavenger hunt to get a small prize.  We also watched the costume competition for a minutes.

The next day Lucy wore the Halloween outfit.

Until we left to go trick-or-treating around 4:30.  I put her in her costume which she did NOT like at first.

But she warmed up to it.

I added a flower to the costume so people would know that she was a little girl although it didn't seem to help.  Two people told me she was a cute little boy, sigh, oh well.

Lucy tried eating every piece of candy she got, wrappers included.  She eventually caught on to the concept that people were handing her candy and she would try to hand them candy back.  It was crowded trick-or-treating from store to store downtown but it was fun to see SO MANY kinds dressed up and families out going store to store.

Did Lucy get a lot of candy?

YES!!!!

 And she was pretty excited about it!!!

I let her eat as much as she wanted, which meant she inhaled a Laffy Taffy, a Tootsie Roll, a Dum Dum, and a Milkyway.

I'm not sure who was more tired at the end of the day me (who carried her most of the night making it easier to get in and out of the stores with a crowd) or my little bee.